This time of the year is never the easiest for students. After a sunny Summer at home, relaxing, spending time with family and friends, forgetting all about university, it is hard to go back. Especially when university is far from home. Today, I went back to Amsterdam. I arrived few hours ago, and let me say that to come back was a really hard moment. The flight was depressing and the road from the station to the flat just too much. Yet I choose this life, going away for my studies, being far from home, being a little bit lost and depressed to leave was part of the deal I guess, even if I didn't think about it at first. Anyway, I can complain, but it won't change anything, tomorrow classes start again, a new and fresh year before me.
My anxiety issues made it even harder to leave home. After a good start of Summer all of my stress came back and just before leaving, a week and a half ago, I had some really hard times. To leave home is of course a good way to fight those anxious thoughts, but still, home is always better when you don't feel good. This new year starts with a bitter taste then, a lot of stress with a pinch of sadness. The other day I thought, in this universe my life doesn't mean anything, I am so little against all of it, yet it still feels hard, it stays complicated. Maybe to put things back in their place can help a little, maybe to remember what really does matter is a good way to fight of those feels. Let's try to think like that. Now time to go back to school.
xo
Amy
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