Some time away...

It's been a little while since I last posted. To be fairly honest, I was not feeling like it at all. I am at a point right now where I am not sure what I want, and what's best for me. Don't get me wrong, I love my blog, and I love writing, but at the minute it hadn't fulfilled me as it used to. So I took a break - and I'm still doing it - in order to reflect on what's best for me, what I aim at, and where I want to go. I am thinking about starting back afresh in January, but I won't promise more than an article here and there, time to time. I already took a break this Summer, and then struggled to keep up with the usual posting schedule, and as much as I thought it was because I wanted to make the most of my Summer and not worry about the blog, I guess something else was behind all of that. 

All I can say right now is that I hope I'll be back here soon, feeling like it again, and enjoying it as much as I used to when I started this adventure. The blog might also change a little bit, the articles being a little more personal and less focused on pieces and objects. I am letting myself the time to think about and realize what might be best for me, and how I want this blog to go on. 

For now, I wish you the best Christmas holidays, and I hope you'll all have a wonderful end of the year. Merry Christmas in advance, and - I hope - I'll see you next January. Fresh and ready for 2019. 

Love you, 

Amy 

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A Day in Poetry XII

Doesn't it all end the same way? 

Aren't we all made to be consumed, 

To be possessed, 

And finally, to be left alone? 

Doesn't it all end the same way? 

Is it wrong when I say you don't know me yet? 

Is it wrong when I yell you still don't understand?

After all those years, 

You still get me wrong. 

And tears are still falling down on my red cheeks. 

Doesn't it all end the same way? 

The start is always glorious and wonderful. 

Laughters and smiles at every minute, 

Sex and kisses every time we meet. 

Then it ends.

Ends to leave an empty spot. 

No more kisses, no more laughters. 

Instead, a reversed smile and solely a natural will for sex.

The person that what sat across the table every morning is not anymore. 

The person who used to fall asleep spooning me is now sleeping alone. 

Or with another me. 

A better me. 

But I try to stop crying. 

She, one day or another, will end the same way. 

He will make her cry. 

Push her too far.

Then leave, pretending she was not good enough. 

That it wasn't the right moment, the right version of herself. 

Or who knows which stupid excuse he will find. 

Doesn't it all end the same way? 

Isn't it why every fairytale ends up at the same point, 

When the two lovers finally meet and get to live their love?

We never get to know how life unfolds after those few magic words, 

"And they lived happily ever after".

I cannot help but think, how long is ever? 

For us, ever was thousands of days. 

Millions of minutes. 

Many months.

Already too many years, maybe. 

But didn't it all start the same way?

Aren't we all built with the same clay? 

I don't know, yet I cannot help but think so,

When every morning, I wake up in the coldness of my lonely bed, 

Seat alone at the breakfast table, 

Close my eyes every night only cuddled by your memory;

Now that you left, now that it ended up the same way. 

As it always does.

October 1st 2018

Amy

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Taking a (Summer) break

I have missed several posts here on the blog, and hadn't been active at all on any social media, whether it is my Instagram or Tumblr account. I was away for a week, in Barcelona and on the Costa Brava, for a little Summer get away with my boyfriend. It was lovely and wonderful, I enjoyed every instant of it, and will - don't worry - write a post all about it as soon as possible. Yet during this relaxing time, I did not want to worry a minute about my blog, my activity on social media, or if I was losing or gaining readers and followers. I took a break. And it felt wonderful. Even though this blog is not my full-time job, it is a project I am deeply in love with, my little baby in a way, something I am intensely proud of and willing to make grow and bloom. However, sometimes you need to take a step back, to remember why you started, where you want to go, and what makes you happy. This week I got the answer to all of those questions, and now that I got them, I know what to do. I am now back, and happier than ever for my blog and I. Our love story is still going on and is doing great! This is, I hope, just the start to a bigger adventure.

xo

Amy

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Reflexion on fashion: uniqueness and individuality

A week ago, I was sat on a rooftop, watching the fireworks in Geneva. It was a nice evening, and I was there with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends. At some point, I started chatting with one of them that I already met several times, whom I knew was into fashion, and naturally, the conversation went towards this topic. His dream is to own his own fashion company, where every piece will be unique, each of them hand painted with one of his orignal design. I loved the idea right away, and totally met his thoughts on this specific topic: uniqueness. We are part of generation where everybody looks the same, dresses the same, follows the same trends. Fast fashion is a real disaster, both for our own personalities, but also for our environment. That is why his idea seduced me. However, as beautiful as it was, at some point it had to meet reality.

I always wanted to wear unique pieces, to own a personal style that nobody else had, to find that one piece that will make me different. Thrift shops are heaven for people craving uniqueness, but it is not always that easy. I still got tempted by high street brands, as showed my latest blogpost, but I am not ashamed of it. I think that you need to find a balance. You can follow the trend, if you want to stay in, and if you are a fashion blogger above all, it can be real hard to go against the stream. I like thrift shops, I like to spend a little more money in a rather unique bag or garment, in a fragrance that costs an arm but is too niche to be smelled on every woman you cross path with. We all want to be unique, but it can be hard when we are stuck in a society such as ours. As a student, short on money almost every month, I can't afford unique pieces, so I still shop at Zara or ASOS, yet choosing wisely every piece, thinking "will this last for years in my wardrobe and does it really match my style?". If the answer is yes, I buy it, making sure before that I don't own something similar already. If I am not a hundred percent sure, I leave it on the shelf. However, time to time, I invest in an expensive piece, that I haven't seen anybody - or at least everybody - wearing. 

My conversation on that roof that night made me think. I wish I could only buy from independent stores, young designers willing to grow, I wish I could afford an entire unique wardrobe. Yet I can't. But little by little, I purchase those unique pieces, and I mix them with my high street curated founds, I create a wardrobe and a style that is mine only. Unique, even if still anchored in the high street names. 

xo

Amy

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A Sunny Mood

Summer holidays are always a good time to relax, to enjoy, simply to take the time. This past year has not been the easiest one for me, and I had to go through many issues and stages. And although I learnt a lot about life and myself, I also had some hard times, I am happy are behind now. This Summer won't be the easiest neither. The upcoming year will be a harsh one for me. I won't go back to Amsterdam, while my boyfriend will be there; I won't be attending any university, and my blog will be my only focus; I will move back home and have to deal with my personal issues. This year promises to be hard, especially concerning my personal issues. I want to get rid of my anxieties, and this will be a major stage to go through. 

However, this Summer, I want to say positive. The sun is shining, the lake is beautiful, I just got back from my first holiday, and I have many other plans to come. With anxiety, to enjoy can be hard, however I want to try my best, to enjoy as much as I can. I am happy to say that I am feeling better, and am ready to improve myself. This Summer will be a good one, and I hope the rest of my days would be as positive as this one. Above that, I wish the same to all of you, a nice Summer, but also a careless and happy life.

xo

Amy

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